But…Where Am I?

This reflection/poem is for those moments when you feel lost in the noise of life and you start to reconnect...

On track with the plan, ticking off the list. Well done me. But where am I?

What an uplifting story. It lifts me out of bed in the morning, makes my heart beat satisfyingly fast. 

But where am I? 

Can I see myself between heartbeats? 

Tired hearts beat faster to avoid 

the silence of truth.

It’s pretty. It’s logical. It’s fine. 

But where am I?

It makes sense, it lights the dark cave of anxiety. 

It smothers me in fake, dense, finite light. 

I insist

and grab

and justify. 

But where am I? 

I recognise the suffocation,

how I strain to nurture it.

I don’t recognise the me I protect. 

Where am I? 

I’m In a song that eases

my hypnosis 

and vibrates 

in my body

as music,

just music. 

The wind dances around me, tickling my skin. 

I am everywhere. 

Your pain in my throat; 

your release, everywhere. 

Wind and music

Everywhere. 

The mess turns to poetry.

I turn the page.

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