Close to death, the man began to see demons on the wall. Occasionally they would jump onto his bed, making him feel as he were being crushed, as if the entire world were closing in on him…
I wonder at what point he stopped seeing the demons to pass over naturally to wherever we go after being here.
When I heard this (true) story, I also saw in a flash that we’re all chasing imaginary demons and that we don’t need to wait for death to realise that they’re not really there.
That vision cut deep, and I began to cry for the excess suffering we impose on ourselves.
For the rest of the day, I became acutely aware every time that a demon jumped onto me; every time that I felt threatened or I glimpsed impending doom; every time that my body tensed up to protect itself from feeling.
Instead of analysing why the demon was the there and how I could fight it, I merely felt what I was doing to myself by creating that demon and believing it to be true.
I stopped to breathe deeply into my closed-up throat. As a singer, you want your throat to be relaxed and expansive; it’s not a good plan to be fighting make-believe demons.
It never is. We justify it in all sorts of ways – blaming the situation, other people, ourselves…
The price to pay is always higher: Not living. Dying to the richness of life in favour of defending your mental construct of who you are and what everything means. Alienating people who truly love you. Giving up the incredible joy of feeling free to feel and express yourself; to laugh, love, create and play.
Over last couple of days, I have felt demons floating in the air. When somebody else releases their demons on you it is very easy to blame them for your own demons.
Yet, none of them exist. When you reconnect to what is real, no one’s demons can touch you.
Please. Stop taking “what other people think” and “what other people say” so seriously. It’s just an excuse to nurture your own demons.
People think and say a thousand things. Only you know what is real, beneath the demons – in the only place that you can be: In life, in the present.
You can only ever live in the present, as physically there’s no other place to breathe. Therefore, you can either suffer in the present or feel alive and free (even when the feelings aren’t pleasant).
How many demons jump on you per day? I challenge you to notice that today, and feel your body every time that one little red guy (I’ve definitely seen too many horror films 😜) is closing in on your heart, your throat, your shoulders, your back, your neck, your jaw, your forehead… wherever you usually tense up.
Resist the urge to analyse it and simply breathe. Feel.
Let me know how you get on with that.
Don’t wait to die to get out of your head and into life.