If Not This, Then What?

What will it take for you to listen to yourself if a pandemic won’t do it? 

My first reaction of rage when I saw that everything was about to slow right down, turned quickly to silence.  

If not this, then what? 

My barely-started novel was still sitting there from when I got back from travelling last summer. 

My guitar sat on its stand waiting for me to feel like practicing scales because “I can’t practice anything else until I’ve got fast at the scales… blah blah blah”. 

My main business projects were advancing just that bit too slowly, fearful behind “the sensible way of doing things”.

My photos were (and are :P) still all over the place on my computer, my phone, because there’s always something more important to do. 

Not to mention friends and family that I have connected with emotionally over the past few days. The question isn’t the medium: Phone/Zoom/in person, it’s how real the conversation is. 

Every time I find myself speeding up in an euphorically-anxious bid to “get it done now”, I remind myself that it’s that anxiety that makes us ill in the first place. It lowers our immune system and leads us to making poor decisions for our health. 

It’s that anxiety that makes us miss the only life we ever have to enjoy. The rich slice of life that is right now, teeming with infinite colours. If we don’t see the range of those colours, it is because we believe that we need something other than now to feel alive and be OK. 

It’s that anxiety that doesn’t allow us to listen to our inner-creativity that has all the answers we will ever need. 

Inner-creativity is sometimes called intuition. Einstein allegedly asserted that intuition is the master and we too easily relegate it to servant status. With painful consequences. 

How often do you ignore your intuition on a day-to-day basis to do what is expected of you? By society, by others, by your own controlling self? 

Now you have an open window in the prison. 

Ironic the metaphor when we’re all being told to stay at home? What if staying at home is an expression of our collective wisdom? What are you going to add to that expression? 

Your rational mind might not know, but your intuition’s totally got it covered. Dare to listen to it and follow it without complex debates over the next few days. 

Start now. Your intuition only knows about now. You can only create now. 

What is that persistent cliché of “now”? 

It is the snow on the mountains outside my window as I write this; it is what is most real and true for you as you breath and read these lines… 

It is the beauty that dissolves the horror. 

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